Wednesday, 16 August 2017

The Denominators Will Cost You - A Guest Simpsons Quiz

As a bit of extra-curricular fun because I've been writing so many quizzes myself recently, I asked a few of my friends if they'd write me a TV quiz in return as a bit of fun and to remind people my new book of quizzes and trivia "Remotely Interesting" is available to buy right now. Those last four words were a link incidentally and you should deffo follow it. Smiley face. Suggestive wink. Full trouser drop.


First to take me up on the offer is the wonderful Garreth F Hirons of this blog's least updated linked site (check the sidebar) Atomic Sourpuss who has gone all out Simpsons-style with his questions. Ive hidden the answers beneath those Teletext quality "REVEAL" buttons. See if you can beat me!

Lets start up those heavenly voices above a small town in Springfield...



1. Let's start at the start.  In "Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire", Bart visits a tattoo artist.  That character has not reappeared since, but is the brother of another recurring Springfield resident - name this more well-known sibling.

Wow. A stumper off the top of my head. So I googled for a (non text) picture and based on the character design it has to Marvin Monroe but I couldn't have told you straight off. Seems more a Herman profession, doesnt it? 



2. "That cannon of yours is against regulations! In this department, we go by the book."  Said to whom, who will have quite the problem avenging his partner's death with this pea-shooter?

McBaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin. "Bye Book"



3. Season Eight, Episode Thirteen featured the appearance of the family's short-lived nanny, Shary Bobbins.  Name the episode.

Oh god, its a parody of Supercalifragiwossname with "annoyed grunt" replacing "D'oh" in the middle, isnt it? But without looking it up, I couldnt give the exact spelling. You could say I did a half assed job.

LATER REMEMBERANCE: Its "Simpsoncalifragiwossname" with the D'oh in, isnt it?  



4. I was going to do a question about Snake's full name here, but apparently there's several different versions thereof.  But I'm a lazy, lazy man, so to partially use my previous research: can you name Snake's son?

I always know him as Snake Jailbird! As for his son...nope. Not a clue. 


5. "You Only Move Twice" is the best episode of The Simpsons.  Who voices Hank Scorpio in that episode?

Ooft, its up there but "Krusty Gets Kancelled" just sneaks ahead for me due to Eastern Europe's favorite cat and mouse team. The answer is  A. Brooks anyway. Albert to his pals. 





6. Because I can't go ten minutes without a wrestling reference, what is the name of the (fictional) wrestler who is quoted as living near Mr Burns?  He is heard ululating as Bret "Hitman" Hart considers moving into Monty's mansion in "The Old Man And The Lisa".

I used my old man stink to determine it was no other than the Shrieking Sheik!!!! Have you read Bret Hart's autobiography? It may be the most depressing thing I've ever read. And I've read [JOKE ABOUT GRAHAM LINEHAN AFTER 2007]!!!!




7. Name the alleged war criminal who has a cameo as himself in the episode "The Regina Monologues".

Good old Rev. Tony Blair. He used to be in a band you know!!!!



8 and 9. Mr Sparkle is a joint venture of which two companies?

Argh. A fishworks and a "Heavy Manufacturing Concern" but names are eluding me! Dammit Fishbulb! 


10. What is the real deal with Mr. Burns' assistant Smithers? You know what I'm talking about.

I take it back, this might very well be my favourite episode! The answer is: he's Mr. Burns' assistant. He's in his early 40s, unmarried and resides in Springfield. 



11 - 15. And for up to five bonus points, who are the mediocre presidents?  Clue: you won't find their faces on dollars or on cents...

There's Taylor! There's Tyler! There's Fillmore! And there's Hayes! There's William Henry Harrison. (He died in thirty days!)

Yeah, I might have listened to "Go Simpsonic with the Simpsons" a few thousand times too many....




Blimey, I feel he was generous there but I wont argue. If you'd to write a future telly quiz for me, please get in touch through the usual channels. And so concludes our tale. I'm Leonard Nimoy. Goodnight and keep watching the skis...


The Simpsons are going to Delaware!

Thursday, 3 August 2017

You Are The Generation That Bought Mr Blobby On Cassingle And You Get What You Deserve

My new TV quiz book is out now!



If you know me, this is already pretty self-evident thanks to my healthy but insistent plugging on Facebook, Twitter and that ad I employed Chairface Chippendale to laser onto the moon. But if you're still unsure about buying it, let me try and gently persuade you a little further.

1. Its a TV quiz book

Yeah, so there's a few of those about. Walk in any branch of "The Works" (other middling Queen albums are available) and you'll find the likes of "Bill Beaumont's Big Book Of Bovril Advert Trivia", "The Pubbingest Quiz Quiz Book For Pubs Ever (TV)" and "The Pointless Book Of Bad Observational Comedy In Lieu Of Any Bleedin' Questions". But invariably they're always the same dull book, researched in about 1987, repackaged endlessly on ever cheaper paper with front covers that look a bit like some beer. Because YOU LIKE THAT.


I think my TV quiz book is unique because of my sense of humour which I've tried to pepper throughout the book, be it the daft titles like "Points of Groo", "Play That Funky Music Del Boy", "Bully's Special Piss" or "David Brent: Life In The Bin"; or questions such as "True or False: Actor Don Hastings soiled himself during a live episode of "As The World Turns" after badly misjudging a fart." to which the answer is much more interesting than you'd expect.



2. There are over 50 all new quizzes written by me. 

Where you'll find the answers to questions like:

- Was there a Spectrum game where Benny Hill went round taking bras off washing lines?
- Can you name the Canadian comic actor who took the lead role in short-lived animated series "Gravedale High"?
- Which TV series was advertised on the Radio Times with the punning headline "Cheque Mates"?
- What BBC sketch show was nearly called "Peter Sellers Is Dead"?
- Squeeze were the first guests on which series later famous for appearances by Eric Clapton, Mariah Carey and Nirvana?
- What connects Postman Pat and US sitcom Community?
- Which member of The Monkees appeared on the same episode of "The Ed Sullivan Show" on which The Beatles made their debut?
- Did religious programming host Jess Yates invent Doctor Who villains the Macra

And hundreds more!



3. Its not available in the shops. 

Remotely Interesting is being ordered to demand by me from a website called Lulu. Its not cheap but its the best way I've found to get the job done. It also means that if you're looking for a unique gift for the telly addict in your life, my book (and its reasonably priced predecessors) is the perfect choice as they're not likely to have bought it themselves or received it from anyone else. And lets be honest, buying gifts is a pain in the arse, so let me help you!


4. There's something for all the family. 

Yes, even Uncle Ken and his "ruptures". When I was a kid I loved watching Telly Addicts with Noel Tidybeard and we even got the 'Family' variant spin-off board game of it some time in the early 90s. Both were fascinating but utterly frustrating to me as a kid. I loved the old clips but how the hell am I meant to know what an Onedin Line is? Who cares about Compact? Why should I go Howard's Way? With this in mind, Ive tried to make sure there are questions for everyone in the book - from the smarty pants small-screen spod to the casual couch tripper, ages 8 to Subtitles 888.


5. Its a great way to support me.

If you've been a regular reader of this blog, my Twitter or listened to my far too numerous podcasts in the past and you liked them, buying a book is a good way to say thank you and give me a few quid so I can continue. I'm trying to make a living out of writing currently so any support that way would be extremely beneficial. And to make spending your money even more fun, there's even a Collector's Edition version of the book with bonus questions, badges, music, games and silliness for a small amount more.  And if you're feeling particularly generous, an "Extreme Altruism" stream for deranged millionaires everywhere!

So, why not buy a book from this link here?


I hope people haven't felt too dogged by my advertising of the book but I'm very proud of it and know people will love it if they give it a nose. To encourage you ever further, I've set up a separate Tumblr to which I'm posting my favourite TV related oddities from my files every day. You can find that by clicking THIS CAPS LOCK MONSTROSITY HERE.

Help support local idiocy, buy a book today!